I need to rest my mind

SERIOUSLY I TOTALLY HATE ME, MYSELF, MY LIFE. :/


i have been so stressful. They're nobody who will ever understand me even my besties.
my life is so shit, so useless. but uhh-huh, ofcourse i am not going to do any STUPID thing. LMAO
relationship, i got probs. friendship i got probs too. family, there's prob too. why cnt i just ignore everything and why i have to think about other feeling ? why other can hurt me, cheat me, stab me but i just can stand there lets them doing anything to hurt me ?
so what if i am not loyal to you ? you're not mine and i am not yours. i walk my road and you walk your own road too. dont come and disturb my journey.
life is unfair, love is unfair. nothing is fair. 
everyday kena boomed. boyfriend, no, i dont need one.
friend, no, i dont need to have so much.
you hate me your business. i like you my business.
i love you but that doesnt mean i must get you. i hurt you to save you, k ?
if once i said i dont love you, that's a lie.i always telling my self and asking myself to please understand that we have no fate. god only let us to meet, falling in love but he never plan to let us being together. why cant i just let it be ?
im tired. i doesnt mean to hurt you. but honestly, i really tired to the max. i really scared what if one day..........
i dont want live life in this way. i want a better way, i wanna be more cheerful. 
i cant trust myself. i think we're too young to love.   
we're not suit, but i still choose you that time, ming zhi dao wo men gen ben jiu bu ke nen, dan wo chen jing zhen de hen xiang yi zhi de gen zhe ni, qing ming bai wo li kai zhen de shi bing bu de yi. dui bu qi.


end here. tired.

我怕我不够坏`配不上你!

他在抽烟，她望着说：戒了吧，抽烟不好．伸手去夺，却被他翻过来用烟头在洁白而又滑嫩的皮肤上烫了一下，她却没有退缩．             他说：疼么？             不疼．只要你开心就好．抽烟就那么好么？             抽烟可以忘记一切痛苦．．．            

他在喝酒，他摸着她滑嫩的粉红脸蛋，细长的手指轻轻的抚摩着，又不敢用力，怕这种美差那间就消失了．他猛地凑到她的脸旁，用那蛮是酒气的嘴霸道地说：我想 吻你．她就轻轻的闭上眼．睫毛微微的颤动．昏暗的灯光下，她好象暗夜的精灵一般美丽．他醉了，温暖的双唇让他陶醉，他狠狠的咬下，睫毛微微颤动，渗出点点 晶莹．             他说：疼么？             不疼．只要你开心就好．             她轻轻的咬住受伤的嘴唇，殷红的鲜血好象饱满的花苞里渗出的露珠一样．慢慢，慢慢顺着嘴角滑下．．．她对他给予了一甜美的微笑．．．            

他在沉默，久久不肯开口．她在一边默默的陪伴．他忽然紧紧的抱着她，好象要捏碎她一样．越抱越紧，越抱越紧，他听见她急促的呼吸，她快喘不过气了，她快窒 息了．她苍白的脸上，血色在逐渐退却．却．仍温柔的望着他．他忽然那么放开她．她长长的呼了一口气，闭着眼．             他说：疼么？             不疼．只要你开心就好．             她的脸蛋泛着白，继续安静．            

你走吧．             为什么？             我不适合你．你找一个够乖，够爱你的男人吧，我，不配．             不需要．            

他狠狠的掴了她一掌．你滚吧．你这么乖，这么可爱的女人配不上我．你滚吧．             她拭去嘴角的鲜血．微笑着，沉默的离开．             望着她离去的背影，他瘫倒在地上，默默的念着：疼么？            

是从前的日子，他做着从来不会变的自己．他抽烟，喝酒，打架．每次打完架，他都摸着对方的脸：疼么？            

他总是产生幻觉，他看到她默默的对着她微笑：只要你开心就好．             他笑了．你在我身边我最开心．             可是，周围是寂静的象死了一般．            

她认识了一帮流氓，跟着他们抽烟，喝酒，她做他们的奴仆，开心的被他们耍．每次当他们搂着她去那灯红酒绿的地方，她总是先一人在洗手间，门外是魔鬼的世界，魔鬼在咆哮着．门内，她安静的对着镜中的自己微笑．开心就好．             然后，她打开门，成为今夜无耻里绽放的黑色玫瑰．            

他看到舞池中的她，缭乱的黑色眼影，殷红的双唇，妖娆的身姿．她笑着，对每一个人笑．人们对她喝彩，男人们无耻的靠近她.他冲过去，又一次掴了一她一掌．             他流着泪望着她．             她安静的抬起头：不疼．只要你开心就好。　            

望着这多快要凋谢的玫瑰．他哭泣．跟我走吧．他拉起她的手，她却退缩．            

不，你再等等好么？             为什么．             我怕我不够坏，配不上你．．．．．．．．．．

Yesterday going to Miri to celebrate my little cousin birthday a.k.a Father day :)

15th of June

Happy Father Day :D

&&

Happy Birthday ^^v may god bless ya ~ hope you happy always like that moment :P

love you alaaaaawaaaaays, xoxo ♥♥♥

  with my baobeii  (尛宁) ♥^^♥ 

(very long time didnt saw her, miss die me, HAHA :3  have fun with her, talk many lapsap thingy :P )

and also vain much with soon yee :P

want see jiu go facebook..HAHA..

ANGRY BIRD ~ ^^

oh yeah, If you're Bruneian you should understand :D 

; nada ku guna mun inda setia, nada ku guna mun cuma mahu gunakan aku..bah, apakan ? 

MUN PHAM BISAI ~

last night de facebook status, i hope you guys understand what i mean, kkk ~

please dont says love if you dont mean it...

many guys that i know,always says 'ILOVEYOU'

 yeah, it' just a word but you know, what if that girl really love you ? maybe she would doing something like believe it..so can dont just say-say ~ LOLed ><'' 

*sorry for the broken english and thanks for reading ;3 ♥♥